Didn’t want to create controversy…

…but I have.  Sometimes you feel strongly about something.  You speak your mind and find out someone out there doesn’t agree with you. 

It used to be that you spoke out only to those people around you and then they could disagree or agree with you face to face.  That makes it a little easier to explain yourself further. 

I blogged about my grandson who is strongly affected by playing video games.  I also posted on facebook saying that I hate video games, a very strong word charged with emotion.  I should have said I strongly dislike video games, somehow that just didn’t convey my feelings.  Two of my extended family members disagreed with me.  That’s fine, I just wish I could have explained myself better, but that would take a face to face with questions and explanations. 

The thing that bothers me was the tone that was set.  They obviously use video games for entertainment and were trying to justify that to me.  I’ve already stated that people will believe what they want to believe even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary.  I believe there is plenty of evidence for me to see that my grandson shouldn’t play video games ever.  If you want to use them, fine, you don’t need to convince me.   Nothing will ever justify the use of video games to me for this child.  This child has behavior problems that worsen when he plays video games.

You don’t have to justify or explain yourself.  I will not think that you are a bad parent/grandparent if you allow your children/grandchildren to play video games. I have never liked video games, much to my children’s dismay.  I always felt like they took time away from other worthwhile pursuits such as reading, playing outside and doing things together as a family.  I am sure that with a few controls such as type of game and amount of time spent that video games will not harm most children.  However that does not hold true with this particular child.  He shouldn’t ever play video games. 

I think when Leslie told me that he was sneaking into a closet with the Nintendo DS and playing it, I realized that this child has an addictive personality and he needs to stay away from anything that has the ability to be addictive.

They may be okay for you and your family, they are not okay for this child.

Read All About It!

My daughter Leslie just called and told me about an experiment that she has conducted.  I am going to start this by saying that results may vary because children vary so much.  If you want to try this your results may not be so dramatic. 

Her number five child has always had some behavior issues that we had not been able to figure out.  For the longest time we thought he had a sensitivity to milk, and he still may have, but she just discovered that playing video or computer games causes Turner to act out in ways that were not acceptable.  He would not want to go out and play, not want to be with people and just be generally miserable.

He had played a lot of video/computer games lately because they have been so busy.  She put a stop to it because school started and things needed to be very regimented at their house (five children in school and music lessons).  It took about two weeks, but she said he is finally starting to act like a normal little boy.  She needs to write in the blog the problems she has been having.  He would find a Nintendo DS and then sneak into a closet to play it.  That sure sounds like addictive behavior to me. 

Now the Wii is put up for the school year and the DS’s are put away.  She has to log-out of the computer every time she uses it so he can’t play any games.  

I am glad I didn’t have to deal with those kinds of things when my children were growing up.  I am not as perceptive about things as Leslie is, I’m sure if we had had those kinds of games I would have let my children play them. 

This is good to know.  Don’t let your children play video/computer games.  Ever!

I am a listener.

Being a reserved person has given me one thing that is often very useful.  I know how to listen to people.  You may think that listening is something that is natural, but I think that talking about yourself is more natural than listening to others. 

I enjoy telling people about myself just as much as the next person.  But I find that it is easier for me to converse with others if I ask them questions about themselves.

This is a great way to get to know people in a place where you don’t know anyone.  Take for instance the cruise we just went on.  We didn’t know anyone on board and yet in a few days we were able to converse with many people that we had met on board.  In fact we made it a point to be seated or to sit by others, we rarely sat by ourselves. 

This was a little hard for me, since it always makes me a bit uncomfortable.  The ice is usually broken by the question “where are you from?”  Since most people on board the ship were from other places. 

Dale often would bring up our recent service as missionaries and a little about what we did on our mission.  Some people would ask questions others didn’t really care.  One lady was surprised that a Mormon could serve in the army.  We like being able to let people know that we are Mormons and we aren’t weird, just different. 

One thing we noticed was how rude the native New Yorkers were when we got off the ship.  I had to crawl right back inside myself until I got home.  It’s a good thing we live here in Washington where people know how to be nice to each other.

Where were you nine years ago today?

I can’t let this day end without reference to a day 9 years ago that is forever in my memory.  I have a few days that I can recall with perfect clarity, the day my dad died in 1960. The day President Kennedy was assassinated.  September 11, 2001. 

We were getting ready to go to Sun Valley Idaho to attend the wedding of a nephew.  Dale called me in and we watched, horrified, as the images of that terrible day were shown on the television.  I watched as the second plane hit the second tower.  I couldn’t speak, it was horrific.

The world has changed, and not for the better.

What retired people do.

We are in a hotel in Newark, New Jersey.  Dale is still asleep, we are, after all just arrived from the Pacific time zone.  Why am I awake?  Because I can never sleep in.  Never?  Apparently not.  I thought last night as I was going to sleep at 12:30 am that I would be able to sleep at least until 7:30 or even 8.  But when I opened my eyes this morning it was 6:00 am.  I would love to be able to sleep in just so I can stay up until 10 pm without feeling groggy.

Retired people are supposed to sleep in.  I can’t ever.  I guess it is a blessing in a way.  When I wake up I am super awake and want to start doing stuff.  Poor Dale would probably like to sleep a bit more.  I try to accommodate him by lying in bed when I wake up at a ridiculous hour, you know those hours before 5 am.  But when it is 6 or 6:30 I need to get up.  I would like to see if I could sleep until 7,  just to see if it is possible.  This trip will be a good time to see if I can do that, just once.